Oh dear god almighty on a stick the first night of Krav Maga kicked my ass! I was dizzy and lightheaded after 30 minutes of warmup and pad work, had to sit out. “Coach, my partner is dead,” was the exact phrase my interium partner used — who I might add is under driving age and takes this stuff seriously. I thought I was in shape, but totally unprepared for this. I walked into this having no idea what I got myself into. There’s no “first” class that I’m aware of, it’s just a continuous thing. When I signed up they told me to just show up and be ready to go to work. Baptism by fire, learning my immersion, I’m used to this by working at Giganews right?
The very first thing we did when I got there was jump rope. I’ve never jumped rope in my life. Some guy took pity on me and gave me pointers on how to get started. Then pushups. Then situps. Then on the back for toe reaches. Then lunges. Then more situps. Then more jump rope. This was just the warmup. By now I was on fire and wondering if this was a really bad idea. Must be how boot camp feels like. I paid good money for this.
It’s one thing to be told “practice blows are delivered at full force,” it’s another to actually hold the pad and take the punches and kicks. Coach would get up front and show us palm strikes, we’d go out and practice. “You’re chopping, use palm!” “Relax!” “Hands by your face!” Then cycles of pushups+palm strikes. Then it was Muay Thai-style head locks+knee strikes to the chest. After a couple of rounds of this I was feeling pretty weak and light headed so I sat out. They went on to combo palm strikes+head locks, then how to counter a choke hold. After all this, it was lights out and random attacks on people.
But, I realize now you’re supposed to be sweating buckets and be dead tired. The whole point is to learn how to defend and fight under intense stress. You’re supposed to beat the snot out of the pads at full force and full speed. “This guy tried to drag you into the bushes and rape you. Punish him.” Some of these guys are really big and come off the floor when they take a knee to a chest pad. The girls are not to be trifled with either, they delivered very sharp, scary blows as well.
What have I gotten myself into? My arms are jelly at this point, they just sort of flop around. This is going to make me or break me. First thing I when I left was go to Academy and bought a jumprope. All the motion I did and saw tonight are finally sinking into my head now that I think about them.
I totally want to go back for more. Just not tomorrow night.
