bryan wann :: binary fury

I popped out for a overnight trip to Virginia, back home again! The airline system was fraught with problems. The AUS->IAD was scheduled to leave at 3:30 PM, then 5:30, then 8:00, then 9:05, then 9:57. It kept getting pushed back because other planes were delayed due to the weather. I got to AUS around 8 and figured out the ticket counter was closed. Fortunately a security guard tracked down a United agent for me.

Some people had been at AUS all day long and were getting pissy. Whenever a gate attendant finally came over for our flight, she got flocked by people demanding information. Plane arrived from ORD, then it was shutdown for hydraulic problems. Pilot came up and chatted with us while we waited. I got upgraded to first class for free. Finally left after 10. Flying first class wasn’t that interesting, I slept the whole way anyways.

A few minutes out we were flying above a thunderstorm. It was plenty dark which made the lightning within the clouds very clear. I’ve never seen lightning from above, it was a very pretty sight.

Did the job, came back. The B terminal at IAD was awesome, there were actual stores and not just Hudson News. Never have seen a suit shop in an airport until now. Same thing at ATL, a small handful of new stores. I was dead asleep on the way back. I don’t know how I sleep through takeoffs.

Finally had people asking me if I was in military. I was carrying around my ACU print MOLLE backpack, which by the way, is handy as hell for this trip. Stuffing it full of clothes, strapping it on (it has a heavy waistband) and go; not wheeling around luggage or lugging shoulder-strapped bags is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Anyways, most people were satisified with a simple “no” answer, but I found people who had been in the military got a bit more clever and precise with their questioning to figure me out. “Are you in the Corps?” “No.” “Are you in the Army?” “No.” “Are you in the Air Force?” “No.” “Well, did you just get out then?”

Radio Shack is completely useless these days. That is all.

Where’s a guy got to go to buy twenty five feet of RG-58A/U cable without driving to north Austin?

Ok, that was /really/ obscure — only like five people got the funny (fortunately, the ones it was intended for), the rest were “uh, heh heh?” The Land Rover picture is a parody of the “No you can’t have a pony” image. Maybe ya’ll need to read fark more.

And ffs, it wasn’t yellow snow! shove off you hosers or my parasite army will attack!

I finally broke down and went to see a doctor. She thinks I have a giardia infestation and prescribed a few days of nitazoxanide pills. Awesome to think I have those little suckers leeching off my intestinal tract; I’m my own petri dish. Nitazoxanide is supposed to be effective at killing them, but there’s a chance I could still carry them for a long time. If I’m not doing better in a few days, I go back for cultures and another type of treatment.

There’s been some recent advances in health care that I’ve not been aware of, or maybe it was the uppity clinic I went to in Westlake. In the lobby, not only did they have the usual hugeass saltwater tank, but also Gamecube, PS2, and N64 kiosks setup for the kids. In the exam room after the nurse recorded my information, she let me watch cable TV on the computer monitor as I waited for the doctor.

While at Walgreens I noticed they had a banner up advertising “flavoring” service for children’s medication. I chatted with the pharmacist about it, he said it’s been around for 2-3 years but not that many people know about it or take advantage of it. I guess by the time the parent gets home with the syrup, finds out the kid complains like a whiny bitch, it’s too late to get cherry flavoring added. Wish they had that 20 years ago when I had to choke down banana-flavored penacillin gunk.

I’ve come to the conclusion I picked up some bacterial hitchhikers from Seattle. Maybe some cryptosporidium. Don’t eat the snow! I don’t know this for certain, but it’s put me out of commission today. I had to leave work early Friday because my stomach was churning and Thursday night I didn’t get much sleep because I kept waking up in cold shivers. I’ve been chugging Pedialtye, and I just fed the parasites some pizza.

I figured out hemostats (surgical clamps) are perfect for fishing CDs out of my truck’s CD player which has a habit of not loading/unloading anymore.

Oh dear god almighty on a stick the first night of Krav Maga kicked my ass! I was dizzy and lightheaded after 30 minutes of warmup and pad work, had to sit out. “Coach, my partner is dead,” was the exact phrase my interium partner used — who I might add is under driving age and takes this stuff seriously. I thought I was in shape, but totally unprepared for this. I walked into this having no idea what I got myself into. There’s no “first” class that I’m aware of, it’s just a continuous thing. When I signed up they told me to just show up and be ready to go to work. Baptism by fire, learning my immersion, I’m used to this by working at Giganews right?

The very first thing we did when I got there was jump rope. I’ve never jumped rope in my life. Some guy took pity on me and gave me pointers on how to get started. Then pushups. Then situps. Then on the back for toe reaches. Then lunges. Then more situps. Then more jump rope. This was just the warmup. By now I was on fire and wondering if this was a really bad idea. Must be how boot camp feels like. I paid good money for this.

It’s one thing to be told “practice blows are delivered at full force,” it’s another to actually hold the pad and take the punches and kicks. Coach would get up front and show us palm strikes, we’d go out and practice. “You’re chopping, use palm!” “Relax!” “Hands by your face!” Then cycles of pushups+palm strikes. Then it was Muay Thai-style head locks+knee strikes to the chest. After a couple of rounds of this I was feeling pretty weak and light headed so I sat out. They went on to combo palm strikes+head locks, then how to counter a choke hold. After all this, it was lights out and random attacks on people.

But, I realize now you’re supposed to be sweating buckets and be dead tired. The whole point is to learn how to defend and fight under intense stress. You’re supposed to beat the snot out of the pads at full force and full speed. “This guy tried to drag you into the bushes and rape you. Punish him.” Some of these guys are really big and come off the floor when they take a knee to a chest pad. The girls are not to be trifled with either, they delivered very sharp, scary blows as well.

What have I gotten myself into? My arms are jelly at this point, they just sort of flop around. This is going to make me or break me. First thing I when I left was go to Academy and bought a jumprope. All the motion I did and saw tonight are finally sinking into my head now that I think about them.

I totally want to go back for more. Just not tomorrow night.

The rest of the time in Seattle was awesome. Friday we headed down toward Aberdeen and hit the beach. On the way back we went through Bremerton and rode the ferry back to Seattle. I’ve never been on a ferry; come to think of it I haven’t ever been on anything larger than a bass boat. Maybe a riverboat at Opryland, but that was like 20 years ago so does it really count? It was fun, reminded me of the river patrols we did back in ‘nam.

Saturday we hiked up to Kendall Katwalk. Note to self, bring own water bottles and/or CamelBack. I got to play in the snow! Eating it and putting some on my head was a great way to cool off. If I was smart, I would’ve filled my bottle with ice so I’d have water on the descent.

I don’t remember flying from SEA, the airport was totally foreign. Alaska Airline’s terminal at SJC sucked, it was some remote outpost. I had to leave it, ride back to the main American terminal, and go through security again. This was on top of being there for two hours. Getting back to Austin was a shock, I left 61 F Seattle and it was 97 F when I landed.

I have several rolls of film, and if they didn’t get nuked through the airport xray machines I should have some pictures this week.

Tonight I went and signed up for Krav Maga classes at the gym. Even got the t-shirt (why cotton instead of a technical fiber?) It was for a year contract which is a bit more than I wanted to commit. I’ll see how it goes. A month from now I’ll have to remember “I paid good money to have somebody yell and throw punches at me.”

What’s the point of Hell’s Kitchen? It’s all yelling (which is amusing). Do these people already know how to cook for a three star restaurant and now just need some lessons on pressure?